Tuesday, August 03, 2004
Now they can't bitch at me about not knowing!

Finally! A way to keep track of the weather in Puerto Rico!  Each time hurracane season come along, my mom bitches at me because I don't know what the weather is or call because they could be flooded out ... like there is something I could do to help... oh well, now I will be able to keep track... geez... Oh you want to know how?  Oh you found this and decided to read... look on the right side... see the weather banner?  set specifically for San Juan... damn Island is so small that if San Juan gets hit the whole Island drowns!

Posted at 01:05 pm by CarieMagic
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Sunday, August 01, 2004

interesting... can't see my page... wonder why??

Posted at 08:41 am by CarieMagic
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Saturday, July 31, 2004
It just never ends

I am so amazed at how people stir up drama... Yes I lurk every once in a while and find myself glad I lurk... oh my GOD!.... people lighten up... if your life is so cotton pickin' boring that stiring drama on blogdrive keeps you entertained... well... just don't get pissed off when people lash out!  Some who read here, and so many don't because they don't know where I disappeared to, ask themselves why does the drama start? It has been the same since the inception of blogdrive... the only one I find has a real time messenger/tagboard.... Some one once called them the blog patrol... they say they don't censor but they criticize, complain, and comment on how stupid some one is or how better off some one's life is than others... i think they just do it to have something to say... oh ... wait... hear the bees buzzing... that's DRAMA starting up on BLOGDRIVE: The Soap Box!

Posted at 08:39 am by CarieMagic
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Monday, July 26, 2004
Very Interesting

I haven't quiet decided if I like Modest Mouse or hate it.... it's too much a mosh pit sound for my taste... in the process of allowing my son some leeway to hear his music I came across a blog I thought had become extinct.... actually I suspected that this person... much like so many including myself had moved the blog... and viola... she did... it's too bad that people have to go to such extremes to keep a personal journal... I guess that is the price we pay...

Posted at 02:15 pm by CarieMagic
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Friday, July 23, 2004
Thank you God, Goddess, Spirit Guides

 I live a charmed life... yeah I am broke... never enough money to enjoy life and not worry about the bills... as minimal as they are... but still... my life is best for it's moments of pleasures... I walked down to the local coffee house... no not a starbucks... a quaint place that recently hosted TV show Joan of Arcadia... On my return walk a gardner and perhaps his wife where cleaning and blowing the leaves and cuttings... all of a sudden... out pops this man and yells' "hey don't blow the dust on my car!" I looked up cause he startled me and then noticed what he was yelling at... I summised that he did not want them blowing near his car because it would get dust on it... he kept yelling at these people who either didn't understand him or didn't care... I walked past him and down a way and he came out of his building and still yelling approached the couple... at that point I realized... that I live a good life...  Life is too short to worry about dust on the car... what a loser this guy is... if that is his only worry in life then he needs to lighten up...

Posted at 11:34 am by CarieMagic
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Sunday, June 20, 2004
HI Dad

  Hi Dad... I wanted to call you today and wish you a Happy Father's Day but it turns out I can't.  No not because I don't have a phone but because you are no longer a part of this world.  So, I decided to write you instead.  I figured you could hear me better this way.  I am doing fine... I guess I have been better but we all know it has also been worse.  No I haven't talked to my mom... perhaps for the best... we all know what she and my darling sister think of me anyway... I started a new life dad... one that means I have to start being accountable for my actions... yeah, your right I always have been accountable for my choices but I made them for the good of someone else... like my kids... now it's all for me... does that sound selfish... it probably does to you huh... you gave so much up just to make mom happy and no matter what you did she never was happy... she still isn't... sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if we had stayed in New York... I'm glad we moved... I don't think I would have managed to go to college otherwise... Speaking of NYC... I applied for a job with a company based out of San Francisco...but most of their work righ now is in NYC... with the schools there... I hope I get the job.... It really is a great way to go back... as a consultant for the public school system... it sure would shock a lot of people... that I would end up like this... the little girl with Petit Mal Seizures... the one every one made fun of... Do you remember my 6th grade teacher Mr. Levy.  I think he was Superintendent of the district... or maybe it was the principal... they both had the same name... I wish I could run into that stupid 5th grade teacher I had... I remember I left my glasses at home and she told me that was like forgetting to put on underwear... I ran so fast when everyone started laughing... Oh and how I would like to run into that little bitch Alma... I still remember how she tried to start a fight with me every time she got ... her and Crystal... Mrs. Wolfman was perhaps the worse teacher she tried to railway me out of a decent education cause I hit Crystal with my costume bag in 1st grade... thank god my second grade teacher new better and straightened things out... I sure wish I could remember her name... why is it that we remember the people who hurt us more than the people who love us... so many wonderful memories of growing up... I wish my kids could see the connections but some day... I miss you dad... some times more than others... mostly because you aren't there to talk to about the Lakers or the Yankees... or the tripple crown... beside the two big beatings you gave me (mom's fault... I know she pushed you) I remember how much time we spent watching sports... I guess in hind sight ... I wish I had spent more time talking and watching sports with you... but mom... oh yeah... mom... I remember her yelling and bitching that she hated sports and couldn't figure out why I liked it... maybe she just didn't see that it was a way to be close to you... I read a letter my daughter wrote to her dad today... I'm sorry the memories she has of him are not good... it was the money dad... the plane tickets were too expensive to spend more time with you... but it was also mom that kept me away... you remember the last time I took the kids... she gave us 2 towels for 4 people and we had the same two towels for the entire week... because she didn't want to have to do all that laundry... I would have washed them myself but... oh well, her loss... sometimes I get scared dad... sometimes I don't know what the next 45 years is going to be like... but then I realize my aunts are all in their 80's and I know I will be OK... I had someone tell me I look younger and happier these days... I feel that way... sometimes I wish things had turned out differently and others mostly all the time I am glad they turned out the way they did... I know you and Uncle Baldo are dancing up a storm, playing pool, and flirting with the ladies... tell him I said hi... I miss him too... I know you are happier... at least now you don't have to stick around when mom goes into her tirade... thanks dad... for listening
Father's Day 2

Posted at 01:57 pm by CarieMagic
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Checking It Out

Your daily routine, job, and health have been plaguing you on and off for some time.  The Sun joins Mercury, Saturn, and Mars in Cancer to shed a little light on the whole situation, so that you can begin to see why you have been going through a rough time. Saturn in this area of your chart can mean that you feel a lack of energy, and really need to revise your whole diet and exercise regime so that it works for you in the best possible way. Mercury trines Uranus on Tuesday, and this may help you to find a way to pay for new treatments, a few alternative therapies, or perhaps enable you to earn more money in general. Whatever brilliant ideas you get, don't fail to put them into practice, as it will benefit you in more ways than you can know. Mars moves into Leo on Wednesday, and this is going to stir up issues in your partnership sector. If there are any problems that have been bubbling away under the surface, they are sure to get aired over the coming weeks, and sooner if they really need urgent attention. Also, trust your ability to increase your financial status, and don't let anyone deter you from trying.

Posted at 01:05 pm by CarieMagic
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Saturday, June 19, 2004

I watched The Last Samurai tonight.  What a great movie.  As always I am amazed how great a movie can be with out all the bells and whistles of special effects.  Tom Cruise defenitly out does himself.  Well done buddy boy!  Traditions, perseverance, the search for truth... I decided there is a little of the samurai in all of us...

Posted at 10:14 pm by CarieMagic
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Friday, June 18, 2004
I wish some people could mind their own business...

If you find this it is because I have given you permission.  My privacy has been violated and the child who should have never read this has been told.  I am sorry I hurt his feelings.  I hope you are satisfied Mr. Neighbor.  You just made a bad situation worse.

Posted at 07:59 pm by CarieMagic
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Friday, June 11, 2004
What ever became of my little boy... it's the drugs and the alcohol

I am the most miserable person in the world.... as my son put it I am the angriest person in the world...

Do I have a reason to be angry?  let's see...

  1. At the age of 14 he said to his dad, My mom is a bitch and I want to live with you instead -- so I sent him to hi dads
  2. 9 months later he called me and said, My dad is crazy and is going to kill me (put a gun to his head to discipline him) -- so I sent for him
  3. T 15 he said I want to take my girl friend on a romantic valentines day picnic -- I paid for it and then he made me wait on a bench while they ate
  4. At 16 he said I don't want to move I want to stay here... I said ok
  5. At 18 he sad I want to live with my 16 year old girl friend -- I said no her mom said yes
  6. 6 months later her mom finds religion and kciks them both out.  They live at her dads till he kicks them out
  7. She dumps his ass and a friend takes him in... I warn her if she ever hurts him again I will make her pay
  8. I rent an apartment for him with him and another friend... I pay 200 a month
  9. 2 months later she moves in, has me taken off the lease and tells him I can not come by unless I call first
  10. I warn her if she hurts him I will personally make her sorry
  11. 6 months later she turns 18
  12. 6 more months later she graduates and makes him rent her a one bedroom apt that is more expensive because the people living with them won't leave
  13. Soon after moving she decides she is a lesbian and dumps him again
  14. Some where along this two year drama she has turned him to drugs
  15. Somewhere along this time frame he also calls me for money because they haven't paid the electricity... instead of paying the electricity he gives it to her for her brakes
  16. He gets sick, she refuses to pick him up at work and has him ride his bike
  17. He calls, says he is bringing stuff to the house, he has to move before he is evicted
  18. I get home and find no place to put my car because he has filled my garage with stuff
  19. He has no place to live so he calls me and asked me if he can stay with me and his sisters
  20. He lays on the sofa for 2 days until one of his friends picks him up.
  21. He comes home attacks the youngest and the girls and I have to leave running
  22. He and she spend time with a friend due to overdose-- both or her... not sure
  23. June 2003 he calls he is moving north and need his stuff and some cash
  24. Some where along the line he has lost his job and is lucky he hasn't been arrested for destruction of property
  25. Aug 2003 I spend 5000 on a computer, rent for 6 months, clothes, shoes, tuition, books, groceries, apartment accessories.  Everything new!
  26. Before the semester is out he has dropped all but 1 class that he manages to fail
  27. He begins work but spends the money on more drugs and alcohol
  28. Now he has been evicted again... I was the guarantor so that screws up my already pathetic credit rating
  29. He moves his stuff to my new apartment, promises to get a job and go to school
  30. Instead he lays on the floor... no extra bed for him... yet
  31. Blank applications on the counter... he starts out at 3 in the afternoon to find work
  32. No consistency or desire
  33. He eats my months worth of groceries in 6 days
  34. The TV runs 24 -7 and still no job in sight (must be because my phone was disconnected--see previous post)
  35. All this and still I am a bitch because I asked what are you burning and he insisted that I should have asked a different question in a different tone...
  36. He packed a bag and left... I

 hope he doesn't come back....  he needs to learn to appreciate all he had... I can see from this laundry list that I am at fault... for always saving his ass... for trying to protect him... but like I said to someone online tonight: saviors always 100% of the time are persecuted for not saving everyone
Why do they want me to save them... oh yeah... something about being the mom...  WHATEVER!

Posted at 10:51 pm by CarieMagic

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