Sunday, June 20, 2004
HI Dad

  Hi Dad... I wanted to call you today and wish you a Happy Father's Day but it turns out I can't.  No not because I don't have a phone but because you are no longer a part of this world.  So, I decided to write you instead.  I figured you could hear me better this way.  I am doing fine... I guess I have been better but we all know it has also been worse.  No I haven't talked to my mom... perhaps for the best... we all know what she and my darling sister think of me anyway... I started a new life dad... one that means I have to start being accountable for my actions... yeah, your right I always have been accountable for my choices but I made them for the good of someone else... like my kids... now it's all for me... does that sound selfish... it probably does to you huh... you gave so much up just to make mom happy and no matter what you did she never was happy... she still isn't... sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if we had stayed in New York... I'm glad we moved... I don't think I would have managed to go to college otherwise... Speaking of NYC... I applied for a job with a company based out of San Francisco...but most of their work righ now is in NYC... with the schools there... I hope I get the job.... It really is a great way to go back... as a consultant for the public school system... it sure would shock a lot of people... that I would end up like this... the little girl with Petit Mal Seizures... the one every one made fun of... Do you remember my 6th grade teacher Mr. Levy.  I think he was Superintendent of the district... or maybe it was the principal... they both had the same name... I wish I could run into that stupid 5th grade teacher I had... I remember I left my glasses at home and she told me that was like forgetting to put on underwear... I ran so fast when everyone started laughing... Oh and how I would like to run into that little bitch Alma... I still remember how she tried to start a fight with me every time she got ... her and Crystal... Mrs. Wolfman was perhaps the worse teacher she tried to railway me out of a decent education cause I hit Crystal with my costume bag in 1st grade... thank god my second grade teacher new better and straightened things out... I sure wish I could remember her name... why is it that we remember the people who hurt us more than the people who love us... so many wonderful memories of growing up... I wish my kids could see the connections but some day... I miss you dad... some times more than others... mostly because you aren't there to talk to about the Lakers or the Yankees... or the tripple crown... beside the two big beatings you gave me (mom's fault... I know she pushed you) I remember how much time we spent watching sports... I guess in hind sight ... I wish I had spent more time talking and watching sports with you... but mom... oh yeah... mom... I remember her yelling and bitching that she hated sports and couldn't figure out why I liked it... maybe she just didn't see that it was a way to be close to you... I read a letter my daughter wrote to her dad today... I'm sorry the memories she has of him are not good... it was the money dad... the plane tickets were too expensive to spend more time with you... but it was also mom that kept me away... you remember the last time I took the kids... she gave us 2 towels for 4 people and we had the same two towels for the entire week... because she didn't want to have to do all that laundry... I would have washed them myself but... oh well, her loss... sometimes I get scared dad... sometimes I don't know what the next 45 years is going to be like... but then I realize my aunts are all in their 80's and I know I will be OK... I had someone tell me I look younger and happier these days... I feel that way... sometimes I wish things had turned out differently and others mostly all the time I am glad they turned out the way they did... I know you and Uncle Baldo are dancing up a storm, playing pool, and flirting with the ladies... tell him I said hi... I miss him too... I know you are happier... at least now you don't have to stick around when mom goes into her tirade... thanks dad... for listening
Father's Day 2

Posted at 01:57 pm by CarieMagic

 

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